Testimony...is it ongoing?

Last Thursday night I was at Bible study with a group of my favorite sisters in Christ and I had an "ah-ha" moment. One lady was sharing about a time long ago when she was listening to others give their testimonies about coming to know Christ and how it affected her. To be quite honest, my mind wondered from her story at that point as I considered my own testimony. Up to this point, if someone was to ask me about my testimony it would go a little something like this:

"When I was 7 years old, I remember watching others go forward during the invitation at the end of our church service. I wanted to know more, so I asked my mom and dad what it was all about. They explained that in order to spend eternity in heaven with God, we must accept the free gift of salvation through Christ's death on the cross and commit to living our lives for him. My parents took me to the preacher's house to further talk with him and I decided that was the choice I was making! Pastor Olen Evans walked me through the sinner's prayer and told me that the next week I could go forward in church! I was so excited! I found myself itchy with anticipation through the whole service and FINALLY it was time for the invitation. I walked my tiny little second grade self up the isle of the country church and proclaimed, 'I want to be advertised!' Laughter rolled across the congregation as my mom wanted to crawl under the pew with embarrassment. Turns out, I really wanted to be baptized. So, the next week I wore my ruffly neon striped dress (cut me some slack...it was the early 90's!) and Pastor Olen dunked me in ordinary water to show the world that I was now a daughter of God! My life continued on as a normal kid and when I was 16, I accepted a call into the ministry, but didn't really know the details. A handful of years later, I understood my call to the ministry a little better when I married a young pastor. The rest is history!"

But that was until last Thursday. What if...could it be? Have you ever thought that your testimony was still being written? Could it be that what I'm going through today is part of God's grander plan for my tomorrow? What about you? Do you think that maybe God is teaching you, molding you, disciplining you so that in the future your story might connect you with another person who needs to hear about God's saving grace?

Anyway, that might not seem that "ah-ha"-ish to you, but it was for me. It encouraged me to see beyond the here-and-now and to keep my focus on the bigger picture, which is a reminder I seem to need daily! If you're having a stinky day, just remember that God makes Lysol to make stinky days not-so-stinky. And His Lysol comes in many forms: scripture passages, good friends, and chocolate, just to name a few.

Widows and Orphans

James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

That verse means so much to Tim and I. As some of you may know, I'm twice adopted. Once by my Heavenly Father in the spring of 1993; God chose me to be His daughter and saved me from a lifetime of bondage to sin and an eternity in hell. And again in April of 1994 by my earthy father David; he chose me as his one and only daughter and has loved me as if I was his flesh a blood every day since then. Both of my Dads are incredible, and I'm beyond grateful for each of them. My Heavenly Father has commanded me (and you!) to take James 1:27 and make it happen. Back up 5 verses and the Bible says to be ye doers of the Word, and not merely hearers. Don't just read it, do it!

I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lawson! Where are you going with this?" Well, hear me out for just a second. There are 143 million (did you get that? ONE HUNDRED FORTY-THREE MILLION) orphans in the world. That's more than 17 times the population of NYC! I just googled it and did the math. Get up from your computer, walk to your children's bedroom, and watch them sleep. They have soft cotton pajamas caressing their skin, bellies full of warm milk, and hair that gives off that soothing smell of Johnson and Johnson. If you're like me, you've been in to check on them three times already tonight, kissing them and whispering sweet nothings in their ears before tip-toeing out of the room, leaving the door ajar so you'll hear them if they wake up scared. You're a great mom, and your children are blessed to have you. But think of all those tiny babies, young children, and budding teenagers. They're sleeping in over-crowded orphanages, if they've been fortunate enough to be taken in. Many of them call a dirt alley home and find inadequate nourishment by digging through trash bins, never knowing the comfort of a fresh, warm meal. The majority of them don't even own a pair of shoes or a blanket to snuggle with, but most of all not a single one of them has a Mommy like you to hold them. Their cries go unanswered and their cheeks know all too well the familiar trail that tears blaze across that unkissed face.

I'm really struggling to write this tonight. My heart is physically hurting to even think of one precious life in need of a family. I can't think about it for long, it makes me want to be sick. I've just read Mary Beth Chapman's book "Choosing to SEE". It's a wonderful book, you should read it as soon as you get a chance. But beware, you'll call the closest adoption agency and ask for paperwork to be overnighted to you before you finish the book.

Tim and I accepted the call on our lives to adopt 18 months ago and started walking through the process. However, we realized that yes, God is calling us to adopt, it's just not yet. I was pregnant. Today, Emmanuel is 7 months old and we have prayed much about this and feel like it's not yet time to adopt. Soon, just not yet. Many of our friends have also accepted the call to adopt. Our friends Mike and Michelle just sent off their dossier to Ethiopia in hopes of being matched with a little "chocolate chip" as she calls him. A deacon and his wife from church are becoming licensed as foster parents with the goal of adopting a child out of the foster care system. Another couple from church, Mike and Brandi, just traveled to Russia for the first of three trips to meet their new daughter Elyse. I'm so proud of all these couples. They're not just reading God's word, they are doing God's word!

But adoption isn't for everyone. Just because you cannot adopt, that doesn't mean you are not doing God's will. The verse talks about caring for orphans and widows. Tim's Aunt Evelyn (perhaps one of the sweetest and Godliest women alive) hosts a lunch every Valentine's Day for the widows in her church. She prepares a beautiful feast for them and asks them all to talk about their Valentines, who are now walking the streets of gold. She's doing God's word! Many people I know sponsor children through Compassion International, which offers impoverished children across the world a fighting chance at life through food, education, and medicine. They're doing God's word! What about you? What are you doing to follow God's call to care for the uncared-for? Can you support foster parents in your neighborhood by taking a meal every once in a while? Maybe you're an empty nester and long for the sounds of pitter-pattering steps on your hard wood floors. Can you offer an evening of free babysitting for the couple whose family recently grew through adoption? Maybe you've been richly blessed with finances. Adoption is expensive (to put it lightly) and you could help connect an orphan with a forever family by sending someone a check.

Here's what you can do right now. You can stop reading this crazy blog, and pray. Ask God what He wants you to do. Talk with your family and develop a vision to make a difference. Even if you only help one child, that means because of you there will only be 142,999,999 orphans left and God will be immensely glorified in your obedience.

Are you ready? Here we go!

On being a woman

Child of God. Wife. Mom. Seamstress. Those are my four top jobs in life. I'd like to think I'm pretty good at them, but the reality is that I could really use some improvement! No, no...this isn't a pity party or a beat-me-up session. I'm being honest. I think if we ever get to a point where we believe we have "arrived" in life and are the best we will ever be- then it's time to worry! Proverbs 30:10 through the end of the chapter talks about a "wife of noble character". She's a pretty great lady but sometimes (when I'm feeling extra selfish) I wish she never existed, because she makes me feel rotten! But seriously, I admire the woman that God was bragging about and I like to use her as my rubric for living! The passage talks about how her husband has confidence in her, how she brings him good and not evil (aka trash talking him on the phone to her best friend). It talks about her hard work ethic and how she serves the poor. She's a strong woman, able to laugh, and knows that true value comes from fearing the Lord!

So, why put in the extra effort? Why not just say whatever comes to my mind, avoid contact with the person who could use a little help, or sit on the couch with my bucket of ice-cream, a spoon, and the remote? It's hard work being like her! Why do it? Please find Exhibit A:

He's my man. He brings home the bacon. He is the best father to my babies I ever could have asked for! He's the sexiest thing I've ever laid eyes on (sorry, I got carried away). He makes me want to be a better wife and be more like Christ!

Exhibit B:

He's my monster baby (well, he's not much of a baby anymore). He says the funniest things. I have loved him from the very moment his existence was realized through two purple lines on a wet stick. On the snowy Monday he was born, my chest physically hurt as I experienced love like never before. He makes me want to be more like Christ so that he will learn to be like Christ!

And finally, Exhibit C:

Look at her, my sweet baby girl. Have you ever seen eyes so beautiful or a face so kissably sweet? She's giggly, curious, and oh-so-tender. Someday she'll be my best girlfriend. We will have shopping days just the two of us where we'll buy way too many shoes and eat entirely too much Italian food. She makes me want to love Jesus more so that she will love Jesus more.

Ladies, I know it's hard to keep going sometimes. Last night I wanted to sell my husband on Ebay (or really just give him to anyone who would take him). Today I yelled at Eli in the Wal-Mart parking lot for locking me out of the van in the hurricane force winds and the sleet shooting me in the face. I was horrible and ugly. That's not the woman God wants me to be. So, I'll wake up tomorrow and try again. I'll learn from yesterday and work on doing better tomorrow. I'm so blessed to have women all around me who are a modern day version of the Proverbs 31 woman. Would you join me in becoming more like her?

Love,

Gwenny

Marriage

Marriage. According to Grover, it's when two people get married, and they kiss and hug and live together and help each other. According to God it's when two become one.

Two weeks ago we found out that a couple that was very influential in our lives were calling it quits on their marriage. They are two very Godly people that I've respected for years! They lead in the church they attend. They appeared to have it all together. But they didn't. It really shook Tim and I up. If they can't make it, who can? we thought.

Around the same time, I started working on a video for last night's "The Gathering: Going To The Chapel" event in which married couples in our church sent me a picture of themselves and the number of years they had been married. It was SO encouraging! Picture after picture came in, years of marriage were stacking up, and many of the people included notes like, "I love him more today than I did when we got married 20 years ago!"

Watch it here:

And last night we had our event, it was a really fun and successful night, and I learned a lot! Tim and I hosted a marriage discussion panel with the Hufty's (our new senior pastor and his wife) and the students texted in questions they wanted answered.

One of the best ones was, "How do you get through arguments?" The Hufty's offered several bits of really helpful advice:

• Don't use "You" statements (ie: You did such-and-such! You are mean! You hurt me!). Instead, talk about you feel (ie: I felt hurt when..., I don't understand...., etc)
• Never defend yourself. It's very hard to do, but when you surrender, your spouse will automatically back down simply because you're not fighting back.
• Only get upset about the things that really matter. (This one actually came from Tim, but I really believe it's helpful and wanted to share it, too!) When you get upset about everything, you will quickly lose your spouse's ear because you're always griping about something! We call it "save your get-upset points" because if you raise a stink about everything (and this goes for all areas of life, not just marriage) then no one listens. It's like crying wolf.

Another great question was, "How do you keep God the center of your relationship?" Pastor Tom said, "Not to be cliche, but it's not a task. I want to sound more profound than this, but I love Jesus and I love Rhonda. I want to help Rhonda love Jesus more. She wants to help me love Jesus more." They both talked about always pointing each other back to the Lord and constantly praying for one another. It's also important to keep Christ the center of your own life. If you and your spouse are totally aligned with God and His will, then your marriage will be right on track!

I hope you all found this as helpful as I did! It was a wonderful time and I wish you all could have been there with us! Now eat, drink (diet coke), and be married!

Love,

Gwenny

Take Time to Laugh

So tonight Tim had a wonderful and sweet idea to take us all 4 out to hit the DQ drive-thru for mini blizzards (at a buck-49, how could you go wrong?). We loaded up in the van, drove to Troy for 2 extra tiny but still satisfying delights, and came home. I stood on the porch holding the car seat on my arm waiting for Tim to let us in the back door and he looked at me with a "let's get on with this already" look as if I was supposed to unlock the back door. Mind you, I rarely lock our door because fumbling in the cold to find my keys with 2 teeth-chattering little ones is simply too much work. If someone want to break in, I don't think they'll let a puny lock stop them. Plus, no one wants anything in our house (except maybe my secret chocolate stash). Tim, on the other hand, locks the door every time he leaves, which includes tonight. Anyway, back to the story, neither of us had house keys.

I gave him my best "Fix this NOW!" look and grumbled that I was taking the kids to Miss Sherry's house until he found a way to get us in. I was mad. No... furious. No... flames-shooting-out my-ears-enraged. As I began to stomp southward to our sweet neighbor's house, I turned back long enough to see Tim was weaseling the kitchen window open. "Well, stink!" I thought to myself. I knew I was going to have to help him.

I stomped back to the open window, which only opens about 15 inches and is a good 6 or 7 feet off the ground (it was well over Tim's head). He put his hands together and gave me a silly grin that offered a boost up into the window. I smiled and thought, "At least this will get us in the house." So I put my foot in his hands and stepped up, barely reaching the window. Eli was laughing, Tim began to laugh, I was laughing a little bit. I would have been all out giggling, but I was too busy having my abs ripped to shreds by the uneven metal casing around the window. And as I was struggling to pull myself through the window that was obviously installed FAR too high, I broke wind. Which in turn led to uncontrollable laughter from everyone. Even Emmanuel was giggling! It took a good 2 or 3 minutes for me to wrangle myself through the window, but after I fought through the stupid blinds and got my feet unstuck, I landed with a "ker-THUD!" taking out the trash can and kitchen island in the process. Tim's laughter stopped and he yelled, "Are you okay?" My only response was boughts of laughter separated by groans of pain. I unlocked the door, Tim brought the kids in, and we dried the tears that the belly laughter had brought on.

Tim was unselfishly noble enough to look me over top to bottom, back up the top again, and a good look all around me for any bruises or lacerations (which there are a few). I'm in one piece, the kids are in the warm house, and Tim isn't in the doghouse. Most importantly, I came out with a good lesson.

I need to be much less high strung. I need to take a chill pill and make some lemonade when life issues a bowl of lemons! I need to be much gentler on Tim, not be so quick to bark at Eli, and treat others with love and kindness, just as Christ is with me! The Bible tells us, "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger." See James 1:19. I have a feeling Jesus was a fun guy to hang around with. I truly believe God has a sense of humor. Let's be sure to join Him in laughter!

And PS- don't tell anyone I farted. Thanks.

Gwenny

Giver or Taker?

Today at church, we celebrated our new Senior Pastor's first Sunday at our church (well, actually he's been our interim for a year, but what Baptist would pass up an opportunity to eat?!). I got to sit with a sweet couple from our church that we have been so blessed to know. Their names are Mark and Debbie and they are two of the most generous people we know. About two years ago, their son was in the hospital and Tim went to go make a visit and pray with them; ever since, Mark and Debbie have showed so much kindness to us that we have come to a point of not understanding it. They are just SO full of love!

So on the way home, I got to thinking about people. Most of us fall into two categories: givers and takers. Mark and Debbie are certainly givers. Not only are they givers of tangible "stuff", but they are givers of love! They hardly know us, but today Debbie held Emmanuel for a long time, whispered sweet nothings in her ear, covered her chubby cheeks with kisses, and protected her with a momma bear-like mentality from the barrage of germ covered kids that were running around us. Mark asked what I wanted to drink, went and got it for me, and then took up Eli and my plates when we were done eating (Tim was off doing the pastoral thing- "working the crowd").

I want to be more like Mark and Debbie! I want to leave those around me with a feeling of "Wow! I feel loved!" Jesus was and still is the very same way! He was the Giver of all givers! He washed the feet of his students (see John 13). He spent time talking with a prostitute when everyone else walked a block out of the way to avoid having to converse with such a lowly creature (see John 4). He stressed the importance of caring for orphans and widows when the rest of society abandoned them (see James 1:27). He gave me two precious and perfectly healthy babies when modern medicine says that I should never have even conceived a child!

What are you? A giver or taker? Are you living your life giving love, giving encouragement, giving your time, talents, and money to those around you? I know, I know. You have bills. You have work. You are so busy. So is God! He has 6 billion children to attend to EVERY DAY! Yikes...and I thought having two butts to wipe was hard! But He will not stop giving everything for you. He gave his Son to pay for your sins and for mine. That was my cross He died on. That was my lashing He took! Won't you take a moment today to be a giver? I have a suspicion you will come out of it more blessed than the recipient!

I love you all, dear sisters!

Gwenny

The Best Job in the World

As many of you may know, I run a designing and sewing business out of my home to make some extra money for our family. And as many of you may have figured out, it kinda makes me crazy. I have a tendency to sew at all hours of the night and then I'm grouchy from not getting sleep and I qualify for world's worst mother; it's just a cycle I couldn't seem to get out of. Everything in our home centered around me getting orders done for clients, whether it was going on fabric runs, Tim watching the kids so I could sew more, or me trying to find ways to occupy the kids while I sew. Housework gets neglected, laundry piles up, everyone is hungry and sick of splitting a $5 footlong, you get the picture.

So, I emailed a mentor who is new in my life. I asked for her advice. I asked what she thought. I asked if she thought I should just give it all up and go get a "real" job. Well, that's when she really let loose and gave me a ear full on what I believe God wanted to tell me.

First of all, let me correct one thing that is kind of a pet peeve of mine. When you talk about a "real" job--there is no other job on the planet that is more "real" than a stay-at-home mom. I even corrected a co-worker this past week when he asked me, "are you going to work?" I immediately answered, "do you mean outside the home?" I get a little worked-up on this issue. I have had some incredible workplace experiences and successes. Many of which have received accolades and high praise. I'm very proud of these accomplishments. BUT--my greatest lifework is still ongoing. I am first and foremost a wife and mother. My passion is my family. I know you completely understand and agree with this. After stepping out of the workplace for over 16 years, I was asked if I would interview for a position as a Public Relations Director. I knew that part of the interview might focus on those 16 years. I told my husband, if they ask me what I did during those 16 years, my answer would simply be, "have you met my kids?" Nothing else needed to be said. I was proud of my contribution to the extraordinary individuals they had developed/grown to be at that time. (I think this is what clenched the deal and the job was offered immediately.)

Your unique contributions to society and to the Kingdom are named "Eli" and "Emmanuel." What a responsibility. What a REAL job. No one can accomplish what you can in and through these precious lives. I know you understand and believe this--it's just good to be reminded of the REAL life-changing job you have. The best part of this? You love this job!

So, to all you moms out there, whether you work outside the home or stay home, what you do MATTERS! What on earth could be more important than your husband and children? Could an extra $300 bucks a month really deserve your attention over those sweet brown eyes looking up at you asking for more "chokkit meewk"? Does a potential bonus at work that would require you to stay extra hours mean more to you than chubby fingers clapping at your silly rendition of Old MacDonald? Of course not!

You may spend 40 hours a week at a desk so that your family can have a better life, or (like me) you may spend what seems like a zillion hours a week wiping butts, doing laundry, cooking meals, washing yogurt out of hair (how did that even happen?), and filling every role needed in your home. Please know that all of you hard work at home with your kids is really making a difference! Your children will be better people someday because you invested in them. They will remember you sitting down and reading to them, teaching them letters, baking cookies with them.

Don't be discouraged! Maybe you need a mommy day or a trip to Hearts At Home to refill you and renew your zeal for life! Don't get torn up because the here and now is hard! Try to think of what life will be like many years down the road. And, most importantly, arrange your priorities in such a way that reflects what God has called you to do. Sewing is not my life's calling. Tim, Eli, and Emmanuel are. So, I took my friend's advice and made some changes! I now have office hours and can only sew during those hours. I have a bed time and if I stick to it, I get to go for a pedicure after 21 days (it takes 21 days to make or break a habit). I'm so excited about what life is going to look like. I told Tim today that I didn't know what to do with myself today because usually I'd be sewing all afternoon while he cared for the kids. So, I cleaned up the house, took care of the laundry pile in the bathroom that was literally as high as my mom-jeans waistband, and took a nap on the couch (which involved cuddling both kids at two different times).

Eli is golfing in the living room right now, so I think I'll join him and after a quick prayer with you all!

Lord, you know that I often lose sight of Your plan for my life. You know how I get my priorities out of whack and put "stuff" ahead of what really matters. And Lord, I know I'm not alone in this. I know my sisters in you sometimes fall down, too! Please give us the vision to see past life right now, and the wisdom to live for what You want us to live for! Show us how to raise the sweet and precious (and sometimes crazy) children You have given us and to teach them to love You! Thank you, sweet Savior, for your loving kindness and for always reigning me back in when I fall right off life's path You have laid out. We love you and praise you! AMEN!