Crazy Life?

A couple weeks ago I called my mom hoping that she would open her mouth and comforting words of wisdom would flow out as I eeked ever so close to the edge of completely losing my sanity. As usual, she did her typical SuperMom thing and spoke to me exactly what I needed to hear. She's always great like that!

Anyway, the story goes a little something like this: I was bathing the kids (Tim was not home at the time), Eli was being a bit of a domestic terrorist, Emmanuel was a tad sensitive, and I was not handling the combination well. When I called my mom, my voice had that "come-get-your-grandkids-now" tone, and she responded in a calm, soothing voice. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but it was super helpful. She reminded me to be patient with them, not to raise my voice, and to let them be the fun loving and goofy kids they are. She then said something that has reverberated in my mind many times since: If I could go back and do it all again, I'd do it very differently.

She was and still is a great mom. I remember her taking us to the park when we were pretty little and using wax paper to slicken-up the slide so we would soar down it (once I flew off the end and landed in a puddle and had to ride home in a laundry basket so my muddy hind parts didn't smear on the back seat). One time in high school I was the only girl on the cheer squad that didn't get a Christmas gift from my cheer pal so she snuck into my locker the next day and left me a gift (better than any other gift the rest of the cheerleaders got, to boot!). And more times than I can count she has come to babysit Eli and Emmanuel and when I get home the house is clean, dinner is simmering on the stove and my kids faces are dirty from playing at the park (I wasn't kidding when I said she's SuperMom!).

But back to the point, she said she would go back and do it all differently because she wanted to do a better job. When I look back at my life, there isn't one thing I've done that I am totally happy with how I did it. I wish I would have been more kind and loving to others in high school. I wish I would have made better decisions in college- I know I missed out on what major God wanted me to have, I'm pretty sure I didn't go to the college He wanted me to go to...really, I could go on and on. But my mom's statement scared me for one reason. I CANNOT get my job as a wife and as a mom wrong. I may have messed up in the past, but I CAN'T get this one wrong! I don't want to look back when my kids are going off to college and think, "Boy, I just wish I would have done better. I wish I would have been more patient when they were splashing me with water that one time when I was getting them ready for bed when Tim was gone and I was grumpy. I wish I would have played with them more and barked at them less."

So, my whole point (to myself, the rest of you probably already get it) is that I need to be quick to love my kids and slow to become angry at them (see James 1:19-20 for a scripture on this). Yep, we have a crazy life here at the Lawson Dude Ranch, but it's a great one! My husband works hard to provide a good life for us, he loves the Lord and treasures us. Eli is crazy smart, laugh-out-loud funny, and as handsome as the day is long. Emmanuel is sweet, she's a momma's girl (which I LOVE), and is a sneaky little turkey! We have supportive family, great friends, and a church like no other. What more could I ask for?

After I got off the phone with my mom, I got the kids jammied-up and put in bed. I went back downstairs to hop in the shower and pulled the curtain back to find colorful foam letters clinging to every square inch of where I wanted to be standing. But I just smiled, arranged them to remind myself to love the moment, and snapped this picture.

A time for everything...

Let me first say "Thank you!" Thank you to all of you who have supported my family by being a part of the world's best clients. You all have allowed me to be at home with my babies and earn toward our family's income. If not for all my clients (and those of you who encouraged me, gave me good ideas, and informed me that some of my ideas weren't so good) this three year journey would not have been possible.

In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 the Bible says, "For everything there is a season, a time for every matter under heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silent, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace."

So, in short, there is a time for everything. I know, my paraphrasing skills are out of this world. There was once a time to learn them, and now is the time to use them. Okay, sorry. Moving on.

Three and a half years ago we moved here to Maryville and Eli was just a tiny little sprout. I desperately wanted to stay at home with him, but we were at the point that we had to have more income than what Tim was bringing in. So, I dusted off my sewing machine (the same one my mom learned to sew on in seventh grade!) and turned out a few items. Thankfully, other people liked them (or pitied me) enough to buy them and little by little God grew my business. There were hard times and harder times, but I would not trade my experience as a designer and seamstress for anything in the world! I got to make things for very famous clients (one of which you all know as the STL Cardinal who broke the record for homers in one season!) and had the honor to make things for children in need. Best of all, I got to be a part of YOUR family by making clothes, bedding, curtains, costumes, and just about anything you could think of!

Just as with most things in life, there always comes an end. And after much talking, praying, talking, a bit of crying, talking, some fighting, talking, and a little more talking, Tim and I have decided it is the best move for our family for me to close my business, Stitches and Seams By Gwen.

I am in the process of closing my Etsy shop, but will leave up my website for 3 more months to honor my commitment to the Mommies-To-Be registered with me. I will also be glad to service my local clients on a limited basis through Christmas of this year, but please know that my turn around time will be much slower since my focus is turning from sewing to being the best dern Mommy I can! And of course, all current orders will be completed on the time schedule I originally gave you.

I shared our decision with a few clients today at the market and they all said the same thing, "But WHYYYYY?!?"

That's a great question, and let me share my heart with you.

Over the last three years, I went from sewing a few hours a week to sewing 40, 50, even 60 hours a week. It went from something I enjoyed doing while Eli was napping to something I was doing while Eli was watching TV all day or I was staying up until 4am regularly to do.

Don't get me wrong, I still love doing it (most of the time) but it has become more of a burden on my family than the blessing of having the income. God has graciously provided a new way for me to earn income by teaching at a WONDERFUL school, so it seems that, in the words of my very best girlfriend, that "God is providing a way to do what He's calling me to do."

First and foremost, I am so thankful God allowed me to have this amazing opportunity to learn so many things through my business and that I got to meet so many great people. I never would have met my sister-from-afar (who I've never actually met in person) Christy Bozeman, I wouldn't not have gained my market sister and partner in crazy living Lori Rehg. Life just wouldn't be the same without my entire Goshen Market family! And I will never forget the kindness of the Tie-Dye lady from Edwardsville that packed up my booth the morning Fred died and I couldn't return to the craft fair.

I'm beyond thankful and indebted to my mom, Karen, and grandma, Blanche, for taking my frantic calls and talking me through fixing mis-haps, broken machines, threading the surger (GRRR!), and picking me up off the floor when I'm ready to throw my sewing machine out the window. Without them, I would have been out of business ages ago!

And I would be remiss to leave out my life partner, my soul mate, and my Skip-Bo enemy Timbolicious. He's made fabric runs (literally, 11pm fabric runs), taken box after box after box to the post office, and accompanied me to more craft fairs than any man should have to tolerate.

My knuckles are white with tension as I desperately try to hang on to my business, but I'm slowly seeing that life at the Lawson Dude Ranch will improve ten-fold if I choose to close this wonderful chapter in life and begin a new one. Gosh, perhaps I'm blowing this out of proportion. It sounds like I'm dying. Sorry guys, this is a big deal to me. Just hang with me. I'm almost done.

I just want to thank all of you one last time from the bottom of my heart. You all are such a blessing to me!

Oh, and one last thing. Is there a change God is calling you make? Is there something BIG (or maybe just big to YOU) that you could/should/would do? If so, give it some thought, a big ol' heap of prayer, and seek some wise counsel. You never know what God could be working on without you knowing it!

I love you all!

In Christ,

All Sewed Out

PS- Is it too late to delete this post and let's go back to the way things were 5 minutes ago?? Oh dear, this is not going to be easy.... Deep breath, Lawson! Deep breath!

Really? Already??

Today my baby girl turned one. As in one year old. As in 12 months old. As in 365 days old. As in holy night, how did this happen?! And she's so ridiculously sweet and charming that you'll cry just looking at her. And then she'll stick her tongue (which is precariously purple most of the time) out at you and growl like an angry dog. And you'll laugh hysterically.

She has been standing all on her own for a good month or so. On July 1 she took her first single step; and last night she took six consecutive steps. But only because she was focused on the hairbow I was dangling in front of her. Today Daddy bribed her to walk by holding out a Cheetoh (really? in her new white dress? C'mon, Daddy!) and scooting backwards in his office chair so she never fully realized she was traveling any distance at all. And tonight I coaxed her to move those cute little toes by keeping the remote control just barely out of her reach. And it made me mad. Like, really really mad!

She's only a year old and the dirtbag satan is already whispering lies to her that she's not good enough! She can totally walk all on her own, but she insists on hold my hand, holding on to the couch, or just sitting on the sidelines watching her brother run faster than a hurricane. She just doesn't believe in herself! I KNOW she can do it! When I offer her my finger to hang onto, I don't offer support; my finger is as helpful as a wet noodle! But she thinks she's not good enough by herself and that she needs something to make her stronger.

Okay, I knew as a mother of a girl I'd someday have to deal with self confidence issues. But I was expecting that to be in like, I dunno, 2023?? What's up with that?!

So here's my plan. I'm going to praise the snot out of her. I'm going to tell her how God wonderfully and fearfully hand crafted her, with plans for her future, and a purpose for His glory. I'm going to tell her how I'll love her no matter what- success or failure- and that my love for her will not and cannot shrink. Even bigger than my love, God's love for her can NEVER change- He loves her more than I can even think about loving her! Shoot- I might even break out some pom-poms and busta move to build her up!

Yeah, I realize that I'm not going to do everything right. And even if I did, she will probably have bumps along the way and fall down a time or two (literally and figuratively). When she gets her first zit the day before school pictures, nothing I can say will resolve her embarassment. But I pray that never EVER will she doubt for a second that she was specially created, is deeply loved, and will forever be treasured by the King of Kings, the Great IAM, our God most high!

And friend, I want you to know the same thing! You might not think you're anything special. You've never competed in the olympics, opened for Tim McGraw, or rescued a hostage from behind enemy lines, but YOU ARE LOVED! You don't have to be someone or do anything to receive the biggest love in the world. God loves you where you are, right now! If you don't know who Jesus is, if you've never met the God I know, then go dust off your Bible and walk with me on a sweet journey.

Look up Romans 3:23. Read it outloud. Okay, again. One last time. In a nutshell, it says that everyone has sinned and that no one is good enough for God. None of us can make it into heaven (God's presence) on our own. Eek. Yikes. Ouch. **Sin is anything that misses God's mark of perfection. You can sin by doing the wrong thing (ie: lying, gossiping, lusting, etc) and you can sin by not doing the right thing (ie: not loving the hard to love/annoying people in your life, choosing to turn a blind eye to someone God wants you to help, etc)

Flip over a few pages to Romans 6:23. Read this one outloud, too. Again. And one last time. It tells us that the price tag on sin is death. Oh crud. But, thankfully, it doesn't stop there. It goes on to say that the gift of God is unending forever eternal life through Christ! Huh? Hang with me, this will make sense soon.

Lick your finger and turn a couple more pages to Romans 10:9-10. You know the drill. Read it using your best radio voice. Eh, that was weak. Try it again, but with some gusto. Better. This one tells us that to receive the gift (the one mentioned in the last verse) we have to believe in our hearts and say it with our lips that Jesus is Lord (note: not just your get-out-of-hell-free card, but your boss by choice everyday) and that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved!

Go almost to the end of your Bible. Nope, that's the index. Back up to Revelation and go to chapter 3 verse 20. One last time. Sorry, that's not true; we'll probably do this again with a few more verses. But it's worth it, I promise. It's quoting Jesus and He says that He stands at your heart's door and knocks. He wants to come into your heart to sit down and visit with you; to establish a relationship with you; to really deeply love you and be loved by you! Mmm, hmm...that's good stuff. I like it! He's not just a white bearded guy sitting on the clouds barking orders! He's a kind hearted loving Father that wants to be a part of your life and wants you to be a part of His plan!

Go back to the beginning of the New Testament to John 14:6. I won't tell anyone if you have to go to the table of contents at the beginning to find what page it's on. I still have to do that sometimes, too, and I'm been at this since I was seven! I know...I don't even have to tell you anymore to read it outloud. Oh sorry, I just did. Ever heard that saying that "All roads lead to Rome"? Well, it's simply not true. Not all religions lead to God. or heaven. or Nirvana. or a "happy place". There is only one True God, one Savior, one Holy Spirit. He is THE way to eternal life. Not "a" way, but THE way! And let me tell you, it's a great road to travel! Just like any road in life, there are bumps, potholes, and booby traps. The Bible says this road is narrow and not often traveled. But the very best thing about this road, this way of life, is that you will NEVER be alone! It will never be dark, for God promises to be a lamp for our feet and a light to our path!

If you have never chosen Christ as your Savior and you want Him to be your Lord, just take a minute. Close your eyes so that you don't get distracted by the things going on around you. Pray. Just talk to God. There is no format you have to follow or special words you have to say. Just talk. And listen. It's often said that accepting Christ is as easy as ABC. A: Admit you are a sinner. Tell God you realize you've missed His mark, and turn away from those sins! B: Believe that Jesus is God's son and that He overcame death to pay the tab on your sin-debt! C: Confess that you are choosing, right here and now, Jesus Christ as your Lord and you will here on out choose to live your life with God as your Lord!

When you open your eyes, you might not physically feel any different. You probably still have that scar on your left knee and your breath still stinks. But your heart may seem different. Like the weight of the world has been lifted from your chest. Almost like you are no longer going to be a slave! Yeah, you still gotta go to work and pay your bills every month. You might have to make some really tough decisions, but you will never be the same! You ARE good enough because Christ is enough and you are now with HIM! Like if you go to a club, you can get in because G-to-the-Zus steps out and says, "Oh, she's with me. She can come on in." Doesn't that ROCK??!

Next step: go find and tell someone. Got a Grandma that spends time with God everyday and knows about this whole God-stuff? Call her. Still have your old youth guy's number in your phone? Dial it. Don't know who to go to? Most likely if you're reading this, it's because we're friends and you're only doing it to be nice. Which also means you probably have my number. You can call me! I would love to talk to you about this huge decision you just made and pray with you! No, I won't have all the answers to your questions (the trinity just blows my mind. I'm at peace with the fact that I'll never understand it), but we can dive into God's word together and find out what He has to say!

I love you, dear friend! If you did just invite Christ into your life, I want to congratulate you on making the best decision you'll ever make! Now go and be free! And grab a doughnut while you're at it...

In Christ,

The Crazy Late Night Blogger

A glimmer...

Today was a hard day. Quite frankly, it sucked. And I'm mad. And nauseous. I woke up with a pounding headache and wanted to stay in bed all day, pretending the clock wasn't ticking, that time wasn't passing, because I knew come 2pm, my headache was going to be the best part of my day. Two o'clock meant I was arriving at the church to attend the family hour in which we all stood around and looked at each other, making small talk, as a tiny lifeless body, measuring only a pound at his last weigh-in before he died, lay silent in a casket the size of my largest tupperware container.

His preemie sized shirt had the sleeves rolled up to the armpit seam because even the tiniest of baby clothing swallowed him whole. His broken hearted mom and dad were so gracious, receiving their friends and loved ones with hugs, thank you's, and tear stained cheeks. They're wonderful people. Wonderful people experiencing such horrific pain and sorrow.

After we got our own two precious miracles home and settled in for the evening I meandered in and checked my email, Facebook, Twitter, blah, blah, blah. A few kind hearted people had written things such as "It was a nice service" and "Such a nice way to remember him".

I felt rage well up within me. No, not toward these people. They are right, in a sense. Pastor Mark did a phenomenal job leading a "nice" service. His message was exactly what Robin and Tommy needed to hear, the song selection seemed perfect.

But all I wanted to do was stand up in my pew and scream at the top of my lungs like a crazy lunatic! I wanted to pick up a chair and throw it across the room! I HATE THIS! It's not right that a mother who has waited 48 years to experience the amazing and unexplainable love that is shared between her heart and her child is sitting through his funeral! It's not okay with me that next week marks what should be the ninth birthday of my friend's son, but instead she'll be decorating his headstone with Spiderman balloons! I HATE IT that every time I see anything more than a few flowers placed together it takes me back to a day two years ago when our church had thousands upon thousands of flowers lined up on walls, tucked in corners, piled up in the foyer, practically on the roof because our pastor was killed before our very eyes 4 days prior. I can't even go in the gardening center entrance at Walmart because the sweet smell of flowers smacks me in the face like a Louisville slugger, instantly jarring me back to the moment I watched a man stand over Fred and shoot him! I HATE THIS! I HATE death and destruction. I don't understand it. The Bible tells us that satan comes to "steal, kill, and destroy". And I hate to be such a Debbie Downer, but satan's pretty good at his job. And I HATE him for it. I HATE satan and the pain he inflicts on God's children.

Usually, I try to use my blog to communicate positive messages. To see the bright side, the silver lining, the lemons-into-lemonade stuff. But today I've got nothing for you.

Well, that's not totally true. Yes, this post is mainly because it's after midnight, I have to get up for my last day of work in 6 hours, and when I lay in bed and close my eyes the only thing I see is Ethan's tiny body.

And all I want to do is run straight out my back door, barefoot and in my PINE t-shirt, all the way to the cemetery, dig through the mud with my hands, and pray for God to raise Ethan up, just like He did a few thousand years ago in the story of Ezekiel and the dry bones. And I sob. And I have to go kiss my children while they sleep.

But I do have a glimmer of hope.

A glimmer so dim tonight that I'm having a hard time believing it's anything more than a mirage.

God's Word not only warns us of satan's ruthless tactics, but He offers reprieve from the attack of pain and suffering. Stop for a moment. You need to be ready for this. You've heard it recited gajillions of times. But this time make it real in your life. This is for you!

Matthew 11:28 records Jesus saying, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

It sounds so elementary, but when I picture Him saying this, I see him with his rough dark skin, his messy beard, and his dirt-underneath fingernails leading the way as he extends His perfect hands toward me. His eyes make my heart skip a beat. Kinda like when Tim kissed me for the first time, but only different...way better, and in a father-daughter kind of way and not a husband-wife kind of way. The rough-and-tumble man strangely appeals to my aching heart. I'm so tired that I just want to collapse into those arms; the same arms that bear such ugly and wrinkled scars, the kind you see in movies that make you gasp. But these scars don't make me gasp in horror. They break my heart and mend it all at once. As he wraps me in His embrace, I feel a warmth I've never felt before. No, I'm not hot, but the warmth penetrates beyond my flesh a bones. I feel complete. It's not that I've forgotten about how bad it hurt when I lost my first baby to miscarriage on Mother's Day 4 years ago. No, I'm not "over" Fred's death. But this man, the one they call "Savior", the one people have mocked, watered-down, and hidden is suddenly nothing more and nothing less than mine. Right here, right now. I am His. He is mine. I am His. He is mine. His glory, His perfection, His LOVE is so much bigger than my heartache, my hatred, my pain-so-deep-it-triggers-my-gag-reflex.

For a moment, I'll close my eyes and try to imagine what it will be like to spend countless, literally countless, days living in that healing cradle of His arms. The Bible teases me by telling me that heaven is greater than anything I can even try to dream up. Even when I squint my eyes and try really hard, I'm not even scratching the surface. But for now, I'll take my weariness and burden and rest in Him. Yep, I still hurt, I still want to puke, and I'm still mad as a hornet, but someday I won't.

Holy Lord, precious Savior, my great Healer. Thank you. Thank you for the gift of new life, and the promise of healing. I don't understand your ways sometimes. But your plans are better. Your will is greater. You are a really great God! Tonight many of us are hurting, and we desperately need you. Please bring your healing presence to aching hearts everywhere tonight, sweet Jesus. Specifically, I pray for Robin and Tommy as they mourn for Ethan. I pray for Daven, one of the sweetest women you've ever created, as she begins another year without her firstborn. And I pray for Cindy, as she gears up for another summer of single parenting. God- we need You. Please come. Please heal us!

Love,

The Crazy Lunatic

Good stuff

Sometimes life can get a little prickly. Other times it can seem like a downright attack from a pack of rabid porcupines! My mom sent me an email last week with a list of really helpful tips for making the most of life. I feel like there are too many to remember, but I can't narrow it down! They're all really good! Many of them are principles God spells out for us in His Word. Anyway, enough of my rambling and on to the good stuff.

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a spiritually enlightening book with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus.'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.

Testimony...is it ongoing?

Last Thursday night I was at Bible study with a group of my favorite sisters in Christ and I had an "ah-ha" moment. One lady was sharing about a time long ago when she was listening to others give their testimonies about coming to know Christ and how it affected her. To be quite honest, my mind wondered from her story at that point as I considered my own testimony. Up to this point, if someone was to ask me about my testimony it would go a little something like this:

"When I was 7 years old, I remember watching others go forward during the invitation at the end of our church service. I wanted to know more, so I asked my mom and dad what it was all about. They explained that in order to spend eternity in heaven with God, we must accept the free gift of salvation through Christ's death on the cross and commit to living our lives for him. My parents took me to the preacher's house to further talk with him and I decided that was the choice I was making! Pastor Olen Evans walked me through the sinner's prayer and told me that the next week I could go forward in church! I was so excited! I found myself itchy with anticipation through the whole service and FINALLY it was time for the invitation. I walked my tiny little second grade self up the isle of the country church and proclaimed, 'I want to be advertised!' Laughter rolled across the congregation as my mom wanted to crawl under the pew with embarrassment. Turns out, I really wanted to be baptized. So, the next week I wore my ruffly neon striped dress (cut me some slack...it was the early 90's!) and Pastor Olen dunked me in ordinary water to show the world that I was now a daughter of God! My life continued on as a normal kid and when I was 16, I accepted a call into the ministry, but didn't really know the details. A handful of years later, I understood my call to the ministry a little better when I married a young pastor. The rest is history!"

But that was until last Thursday. What if...could it be? Have you ever thought that your testimony was still being written? Could it be that what I'm going through today is part of God's grander plan for my tomorrow? What about you? Do you think that maybe God is teaching you, molding you, disciplining you so that in the future your story might connect you with another person who needs to hear about God's saving grace?

Anyway, that might not seem that "ah-ha"-ish to you, but it was for me. It encouraged me to see beyond the here-and-now and to keep my focus on the bigger picture, which is a reminder I seem to need daily! If you're having a stinky day, just remember that God makes Lysol to make stinky days not-so-stinky. And His Lysol comes in many forms: scripture passages, good friends, and chocolate, just to name a few.

Widows and Orphans

James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

That verse means so much to Tim and I. As some of you may know, I'm twice adopted. Once by my Heavenly Father in the spring of 1993; God chose me to be His daughter and saved me from a lifetime of bondage to sin and an eternity in hell. And again in April of 1994 by my earthy father David; he chose me as his one and only daughter and has loved me as if I was his flesh a blood every day since then. Both of my Dads are incredible, and I'm beyond grateful for each of them. My Heavenly Father has commanded me (and you!) to take James 1:27 and make it happen. Back up 5 verses and the Bible says to be ye doers of the Word, and not merely hearers. Don't just read it, do it!

I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lawson! Where are you going with this?" Well, hear me out for just a second. There are 143 million (did you get that? ONE HUNDRED FORTY-THREE MILLION) orphans in the world. That's more than 17 times the population of NYC! I just googled it and did the math. Get up from your computer, walk to your children's bedroom, and watch them sleep. They have soft cotton pajamas caressing their skin, bellies full of warm milk, and hair that gives off that soothing smell of Johnson and Johnson. If you're like me, you've been in to check on them three times already tonight, kissing them and whispering sweet nothings in their ears before tip-toeing out of the room, leaving the door ajar so you'll hear them if they wake up scared. You're a great mom, and your children are blessed to have you. But think of all those tiny babies, young children, and budding teenagers. They're sleeping in over-crowded orphanages, if they've been fortunate enough to be taken in. Many of them call a dirt alley home and find inadequate nourishment by digging through trash bins, never knowing the comfort of a fresh, warm meal. The majority of them don't even own a pair of shoes or a blanket to snuggle with, but most of all not a single one of them has a Mommy like you to hold them. Their cries go unanswered and their cheeks know all too well the familiar trail that tears blaze across that unkissed face.

I'm really struggling to write this tonight. My heart is physically hurting to even think of one precious life in need of a family. I can't think about it for long, it makes me want to be sick. I've just read Mary Beth Chapman's book "Choosing to SEE". It's a wonderful book, you should read it as soon as you get a chance. But beware, you'll call the closest adoption agency and ask for paperwork to be overnighted to you before you finish the book.

Tim and I accepted the call on our lives to adopt 18 months ago and started walking through the process. However, we realized that yes, God is calling us to adopt, it's just not yet. I was pregnant. Today, Emmanuel is 7 months old and we have prayed much about this and feel like it's not yet time to adopt. Soon, just not yet. Many of our friends have also accepted the call to adopt. Our friends Mike and Michelle just sent off their dossier to Ethiopia in hopes of being matched with a little "chocolate chip" as she calls him. A deacon and his wife from church are becoming licensed as foster parents with the goal of adopting a child out of the foster care system. Another couple from church, Mike and Brandi, just traveled to Russia for the first of three trips to meet their new daughter Elyse. I'm so proud of all these couples. They're not just reading God's word, they are doing God's word!

But adoption isn't for everyone. Just because you cannot adopt, that doesn't mean you are not doing God's will. The verse talks about caring for orphans and widows. Tim's Aunt Evelyn (perhaps one of the sweetest and Godliest women alive) hosts a lunch every Valentine's Day for the widows in her church. She prepares a beautiful feast for them and asks them all to talk about their Valentines, who are now walking the streets of gold. She's doing God's word! Many people I know sponsor children through Compassion International, which offers impoverished children across the world a fighting chance at life through food, education, and medicine. They're doing God's word! What about you? What are you doing to follow God's call to care for the uncared-for? Can you support foster parents in your neighborhood by taking a meal every once in a while? Maybe you're an empty nester and long for the sounds of pitter-pattering steps on your hard wood floors. Can you offer an evening of free babysitting for the couple whose family recently grew through adoption? Maybe you've been richly blessed with finances. Adoption is expensive (to put it lightly) and you could help connect an orphan with a forever family by sending someone a check.

Here's what you can do right now. You can stop reading this crazy blog, and pray. Ask God what He wants you to do. Talk with your family and develop a vision to make a difference. Even if you only help one child, that means because of you there will only be 142,999,999 orphans left and God will be immensely glorified in your obedience.

Are you ready? Here we go!