On being a woman

Child of God. Wife. Mom. Seamstress. Those are my four top jobs in life. I'd like to think I'm pretty good at them, but the reality is that I could really use some improvement! No, no...this isn't a pity party or a beat-me-up session. I'm being honest. I think if we ever get to a point where we believe we have "arrived" in life and are the best we will ever be- then it's time to worry! Proverbs 30:10 through the end of the chapter talks about a "wife of noble character". She's a pretty great lady but sometimes (when I'm feeling extra selfish) I wish she never existed, because she makes me feel rotten! But seriously, I admire the woman that God was bragging about and I like to use her as my rubric for living! The passage talks about how her husband has confidence in her, how she brings him good and not evil (aka trash talking him on the phone to her best friend). It talks about her hard work ethic and how she serves the poor. She's a strong woman, able to laugh, and knows that true value comes from fearing the Lord!

So, why put in the extra effort? Why not just say whatever comes to my mind, avoid contact with the person who could use a little help, or sit on the couch with my bucket of ice-cream, a spoon, and the remote? It's hard work being like her! Why do it? Please find Exhibit A:

He's my man. He brings home the bacon. He is the best father to my babies I ever could have asked for! He's the sexiest thing I've ever laid eyes on (sorry, I got carried away). He makes me want to be a better wife and be more like Christ!

Exhibit B:

He's my monster baby (well, he's not much of a baby anymore). He says the funniest things. I have loved him from the very moment his existence was realized through two purple lines on a wet stick. On the snowy Monday he was born, my chest physically hurt as I experienced love like never before. He makes me want to be more like Christ so that he will learn to be like Christ!

And finally, Exhibit C:

Look at her, my sweet baby girl. Have you ever seen eyes so beautiful or a face so kissably sweet? She's giggly, curious, and oh-so-tender. Someday she'll be my best girlfriend. We will have shopping days just the two of us where we'll buy way too many shoes and eat entirely too much Italian food. She makes me want to love Jesus more so that she will love Jesus more.

Ladies, I know it's hard to keep going sometimes. Last night I wanted to sell my husband on Ebay (or really just give him to anyone who would take him). Today I yelled at Eli in the Wal-Mart parking lot for locking me out of the van in the hurricane force winds and the sleet shooting me in the face. I was horrible and ugly. That's not the woman God wants me to be. So, I'll wake up tomorrow and try again. I'll learn from yesterday and work on doing better tomorrow. I'm so blessed to have women all around me who are a modern day version of the Proverbs 31 woman. Would you join me in becoming more like her?

Love,

Gwenny

Marriage

Marriage. According to Grover, it's when two people get married, and they kiss and hug and live together and help each other. According to God it's when two become one.

Two weeks ago we found out that a couple that was very influential in our lives were calling it quits on their marriage. They are two very Godly people that I've respected for years! They lead in the church they attend. They appeared to have it all together. But they didn't. It really shook Tim and I up. If they can't make it, who can? we thought.

Around the same time, I started working on a video for last night's "The Gathering: Going To The Chapel" event in which married couples in our church sent me a picture of themselves and the number of years they had been married. It was SO encouraging! Picture after picture came in, years of marriage were stacking up, and many of the people included notes like, "I love him more today than I did when we got married 20 years ago!"

Watch it here:

And last night we had our event, it was a really fun and successful night, and I learned a lot! Tim and I hosted a marriage discussion panel with the Hufty's (our new senior pastor and his wife) and the students texted in questions they wanted answered.

One of the best ones was, "How do you get through arguments?" The Hufty's offered several bits of really helpful advice:

• Don't use "You" statements (ie: You did such-and-such! You are mean! You hurt me!). Instead, talk about you feel (ie: I felt hurt when..., I don't understand...., etc)
• Never defend yourself. It's very hard to do, but when you surrender, your spouse will automatically back down simply because you're not fighting back.
• Only get upset about the things that really matter. (This one actually came from Tim, but I really believe it's helpful and wanted to share it, too!) When you get upset about everything, you will quickly lose your spouse's ear because you're always griping about something! We call it "save your get-upset points" because if you raise a stink about everything (and this goes for all areas of life, not just marriage) then no one listens. It's like crying wolf.

Another great question was, "How do you keep God the center of your relationship?" Pastor Tom said, "Not to be cliche, but it's not a task. I want to sound more profound than this, but I love Jesus and I love Rhonda. I want to help Rhonda love Jesus more. She wants to help me love Jesus more." They both talked about always pointing each other back to the Lord and constantly praying for one another. It's also important to keep Christ the center of your own life. If you and your spouse are totally aligned with God and His will, then your marriage will be right on track!

I hope you all found this as helpful as I did! It was a wonderful time and I wish you all could have been there with us! Now eat, drink (diet coke), and be married!

Love,

Gwenny

Take Time to Laugh

So tonight Tim had a wonderful and sweet idea to take us all 4 out to hit the DQ drive-thru for mini blizzards (at a buck-49, how could you go wrong?). We loaded up in the van, drove to Troy for 2 extra tiny but still satisfying delights, and came home. I stood on the porch holding the car seat on my arm waiting for Tim to let us in the back door and he looked at me with a "let's get on with this already" look as if I was supposed to unlock the back door. Mind you, I rarely lock our door because fumbling in the cold to find my keys with 2 teeth-chattering little ones is simply too much work. If someone want to break in, I don't think they'll let a puny lock stop them. Plus, no one wants anything in our house (except maybe my secret chocolate stash). Tim, on the other hand, locks the door every time he leaves, which includes tonight. Anyway, back to the story, neither of us had house keys.

I gave him my best "Fix this NOW!" look and grumbled that I was taking the kids to Miss Sherry's house until he found a way to get us in. I was mad. No... furious. No... flames-shooting-out my-ears-enraged. As I began to stomp southward to our sweet neighbor's house, I turned back long enough to see Tim was weaseling the kitchen window open. "Well, stink!" I thought to myself. I knew I was going to have to help him.

I stomped back to the open window, which only opens about 15 inches and is a good 6 or 7 feet off the ground (it was well over Tim's head). He put his hands together and gave me a silly grin that offered a boost up into the window. I smiled and thought, "At least this will get us in the house." So I put my foot in his hands and stepped up, barely reaching the window. Eli was laughing, Tim began to laugh, I was laughing a little bit. I would have been all out giggling, but I was too busy having my abs ripped to shreds by the uneven metal casing around the window. And as I was struggling to pull myself through the window that was obviously installed FAR too high, I broke wind. Which in turn led to uncontrollable laughter from everyone. Even Emmanuel was giggling! It took a good 2 or 3 minutes for me to wrangle myself through the window, but after I fought through the stupid blinds and got my feet unstuck, I landed with a "ker-THUD!" taking out the trash can and kitchen island in the process. Tim's laughter stopped and he yelled, "Are you okay?" My only response was boughts of laughter separated by groans of pain. I unlocked the door, Tim brought the kids in, and we dried the tears that the belly laughter had brought on.

Tim was unselfishly noble enough to look me over top to bottom, back up the top again, and a good look all around me for any bruises or lacerations (which there are a few). I'm in one piece, the kids are in the warm house, and Tim isn't in the doghouse. Most importantly, I came out with a good lesson.

I need to be much less high strung. I need to take a chill pill and make some lemonade when life issues a bowl of lemons! I need to be much gentler on Tim, not be so quick to bark at Eli, and treat others with love and kindness, just as Christ is with me! The Bible tells us, "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger." See James 1:19. I have a feeling Jesus was a fun guy to hang around with. I truly believe God has a sense of humor. Let's be sure to join Him in laughter!

And PS- don't tell anyone I farted. Thanks.

Gwenny

Giver or Taker?

Today at church, we celebrated our new Senior Pastor's first Sunday at our church (well, actually he's been our interim for a year, but what Baptist would pass up an opportunity to eat?!). I got to sit with a sweet couple from our church that we have been so blessed to know. Their names are Mark and Debbie and they are two of the most generous people we know. About two years ago, their son was in the hospital and Tim went to go make a visit and pray with them; ever since, Mark and Debbie have showed so much kindness to us that we have come to a point of not understanding it. They are just SO full of love!

So on the way home, I got to thinking about people. Most of us fall into two categories: givers and takers. Mark and Debbie are certainly givers. Not only are they givers of tangible "stuff", but they are givers of love! They hardly know us, but today Debbie held Emmanuel for a long time, whispered sweet nothings in her ear, covered her chubby cheeks with kisses, and protected her with a momma bear-like mentality from the barrage of germ covered kids that were running around us. Mark asked what I wanted to drink, went and got it for me, and then took up Eli and my plates when we were done eating (Tim was off doing the pastoral thing- "working the crowd").

I want to be more like Mark and Debbie! I want to leave those around me with a feeling of "Wow! I feel loved!" Jesus was and still is the very same way! He was the Giver of all givers! He washed the feet of his students (see John 13). He spent time talking with a prostitute when everyone else walked a block out of the way to avoid having to converse with such a lowly creature (see John 4). He stressed the importance of caring for orphans and widows when the rest of society abandoned them (see James 1:27). He gave me two precious and perfectly healthy babies when modern medicine says that I should never have even conceived a child!

What are you? A giver or taker? Are you living your life giving love, giving encouragement, giving your time, talents, and money to those around you? I know, I know. You have bills. You have work. You are so busy. So is God! He has 6 billion children to attend to EVERY DAY! Yikes...and I thought having two butts to wipe was hard! But He will not stop giving everything for you. He gave his Son to pay for your sins and for mine. That was my cross He died on. That was my lashing He took! Won't you take a moment today to be a giver? I have a suspicion you will come out of it more blessed than the recipient!

I love you all, dear sisters!

Gwenny