Marriage

Tonight I'd love to share with you a little bit about our marriage- but I don't quite know where to begin! This past week (the one year anniversary of Pastor Fred's death) has reminded me to hold close the ones I love dearly- particularly Tim and Eli.

Tim and I went on our first date on May 25, 2005 when he was a summer intern at FBCM and I was at McKendree University; we had ice cream at Dr. Jazz and then Tim dropped me off at my apartment (I didn't sleep at all that night because of all the giggly butterflies in my tummy!). He proposed on December 16, 2005 and we were married just eight months later on August 5, 2006. Some might say that is a little too fast, but we knew God was calling us to a lifetime of service to Him and that included marriage.

On that hot August day, we didn't just put on the most expensive outfits we'd ever wear, take hours of pictures, and kiss in front of a few hundred people, but more importantly, we each recited from memory vows we had specially written with the other one in mind. Each of us talked about it being a lifetime commitment, through thick and thin, rich and poor. Yes, we were about to embark on a dream honeymoon to the Dominican Republic, but we knew that would come to an end and real life would begin. We just didn't realize how tough "real life" is! Our first six months, we fought, screamed, and I even told him I hated him on our first Christmas together. It was in that six months of "orienting ourselves to marriage" (that's the kindest way we can describe it) that we really started to grasp what the commitment of marriage was all about (although we still have a lot of learning to do!).

Over the last three, almost four years, we have experienced so much together; miscarrying our first baby, moving to another state for seminary where we knew not even a single person, bringing a baby into this world, taking a job at an awesome church, going through Pastor Fred's death, and our second baby is currently turning somersaults in my belly! Has it all been fun? No. Has it all been miserable? Absolutely not. But we have certainly enjoyed walking hand in hand through life, never having to face trials alone and always having a best friend to share God's blessing with.

I'm so glad God invented marriage! He knew exactly what He was talking about when He declared that it was not good for a dude to be alone. There are things about Tim that drive me bonkers (he always leaves one bite on his plate when he puts it by the sink...why?) but there are more things about him that I adore, respect, and admire (there's nothing sexier than seeing him preach the Word of God!). He has recently taken on heavy snoring at night, but he never remembers me kicking him to get him to stop (don't tell him I do it). I know that it makes him want to scream when I leave a mountain of dishes in the kitchen after cooking and that I never rinse the dishes before loading the dishwasher, but I know even more that he loves that I cook.

Tonight in the car on the way home from Aldi, Tim asked me, "What's one thing I can do to make our marriage more fun for you?" My heart was so blessed than on a day he failed his Greek quiz, got his butt kicked by Tony on his P90 workout, and he's just having a rough go overall right now, he took the time and effort to make sure our marriage is the best that it can be!

Tim recently had a panel discussion at The Gathering (our Sunday night college service) on Godly marriage. A couple from our church that has been married for just shy of 55 years came and spoke. They were so wonderful to listen to! They talked about how some days, they might not like one another, but they always CHOOSE to love one another. Fred and Gerrie emphasized that the commitment to love one another is a choice they have to make every day, regardless of circumstances and feelings. I pray that 50 years from now, Tim and I have a marriage that young people can aspire to achieve. More importantly, I hope every day of the next 50 years (and them some!) my marriage will be a tool God uses to reach this world and that I will choose to honor God and my husband with a selfless love. I know I won't get it right most days, but that's why God doesn't grade us like a math teacher does; rather, He offers forgiveness and grace that far suffice any sin!

I guess in short, I just want to communicate how great married life is. Thank you Lord, for your loving kindness and for the gift of my husband. Thank you, Tim, for 4 incredible years; I promised you we'd make it 87 years, so that only leaves us 83 years to accomplish everything we want to! I love you both!